


A Small Wish

by BlueRoseDream



Category: IDOLiSH7
Genre: Butterflies After The Rain, Butterfly Effect, Fun with doppelgangers, Hurt/comfort kind of?, M/M, There’s some violence at the very end but it’s very brief and it’s not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25653346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRoseDream/pseuds/BlueRoseDream
Summary: Within the depths of his mind, Sougo comes across a fragment of his memory that he forgot about long ago. And upon interacting with it once again, their story is set in motion once again as Sougo’s greatest wish is granted at a heavy price.
Relationships: Yotsuba Tamaki/Osaka Sougo
Kudos: 9





	1. The Memory of ???

_Why?_

It’s a word Sougo asks himself as he is constantly kept from reaching that person.

_Why can’t I just say those three little words?_

He forced himself to move forward, little by little, as he reached out towards the figure standing before him. But no matter what he does, he could never seem to break away from the darkness plaguing his thoughts. His fear and his worries continued to drag him farther and farther away—until one night, something completely different happened.

He found himself staring back at his younger self talking cheerfully to someone he couldn’t clearly see as they played simple children’s games that felt so out of reach now that he was an adult. From what he could see on young Sougo’s face, he seemed to be happy with this stranger he couldn’t seem to distinguish as they spoke of something he couldn’t comprehend. But then, in that moment, the image suddenly warped into the shape of a full length mirror reflecting a man bearing a striking resemblance to him. However, unlike his true self, they seemed more confident—unafraid of the smog that filled his head with fear and anxiety.

_**“I can help you if you want. You want to be able to tell him, don’t you? Those feelings that you can’t bring yourself to say aloud.”** _

Their words were sharp as they pierced through his heart, yet their reassuring smile had a way of urging him to nod in agreement.

_**“Whenever you find yourself too afraid to be honest, I’ll be there to help you. You want to be with him, don’t you? All I need you to do is trust me.”** _

_You’ll only make it worse. He’ll think you’re disgusting and not want to work with you anymore._

As time continued to tick on ever so slowly, he could feel himself falling deeper into his own anxieties. If he could just tell him, then he wouldn’t need anything else.

So before the dream finally swallowed him whole, he placed his hand upon the glass and whispered, “Please help me.”

The reflection smiled as they pushed their fingers through the glass to intertwine them with Sougo’s own moments before the world faded to black.

_**Gladly.** _

* * *

Upon waking up from his nightmare, Sougo could feel his heart beating a mile a minute as he unsteadily tried to get out of bed and make himself look presentable. It was still a little early, but he figured that he could help prepare breakfast for everyone in the dorm. Last night’s dream had been more unusual than normal, but it wasn’t like anything would actually happen, right? He could only hope that the growing unease in the pit of his stomach doesn’t prove otherwise.

“You don’t look too great. Are you feeling okay?”

Surprised by Mitsuki’s comment, Sougo started to wonder if he had dark circles from his lack of proper sleep. “Do I really look that bad?”

“Not really, but you do seem pretty tired. You’re kinda spacey.”

He was hoping that it wasn’t that obvious because Tamaki would definitely say something if it was. Not wanting Mitsuki to worry about him, Sougo insisted that he felt fine and just needed a little more time to wake up. It was common knowledge among the members that Sougo had a tendency to push himself too hard, but Mitsuki wanted to respect his wishes as well, so he allowed him to help with simpler tasks like setting the table.

“You and Tamaki don’t have anything planned except for the party tonight, right? Since Tamaki needs to go to school to finish his painting, why don’t you relax for today since you haven’t had a day off in a while?”

He gave a careful smile and nodded in agreement towards Mitsuki’s idea. Maybe it would be good for him to take a break or at least take his mind off the dreams somehow.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been staring at that omelet for the past five minutes.”

Sougo shook his head a little in an attempt to snap himself back to reality. “Sorry, Mitsuki-san. I’m fine though. Really.”

“If you say so. But if anything happens, you should rest or at least tell Tamaki, okay? He was really worried last time.”

He could feel his chest grow tight at the thought of how guilty Tamaki was when he collapsed from overwork when they first started out. They promised to be more honest with each other, and he promised to take better care of himself, so he couldn’t just spend all his time mulling over empty worries. He needed to be more confident.

_Isn’t that why you agreed to have them help you?_

The smell of freshly cooked pancakes and omelets were enough to keep him mostly focused, but the deal he had made with the person behind the mirror still lingered in the back of his mind. Unlike all the other times he had that dream, this one felt more real than any of them which sent a chill down his spine. _His desires or his anxiety? Which one would overtake him in the end?_ Deep inside his heart, he couldn’t help but feel uneasy towards the possibility of reaching either end.

_**But isn’t that what you want? To be confident enough to say and do the things you don’t have the courage to do?** _

_**Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you. All you need to do is sit back, relax, and trust me.** _

Without truly understanding why, Sougo could feel his stiff shoulders ease upon hearing those words even though something about it still felt _off._ Although he felt that way, it could also be a result of his own paranoia. He’s been hiding so many aspects of himself for so long that at some point it became second nature for him to be wary of his own actions.

He sighed before knocking on the door to Tamaki’s room. “Tamaki-kun? Mitsuki-san made breakfast.”

From the other side of the door, he could hear a quiet groan of protest indicating that he should probably go inside and help him get out of bed.

In the past, Sougo had no problem carrying the younger man on his back as he helped him make his way to the kitchen, but nowadays, he found himself blushing madly as he hoped that Tamaki was still too half-asleep to see his face. Not to mention, from time to time, he would start to hug him as if he were his Ousama Pudding pillow causing Sougo’s mind to short circuit as he carefully tried to wiggle free without accidentally dropping him. The others were used to seeing Tamaki and Nagi half asleep in the mornings, so no one ever commented on their actions while they were still drowsy (unless someone found it funny). With that said, Sougo was clearly dangling between heaven and hell since he had a hard time focusing on anything other than the sound of Tamaki’s breathing and his own heart beating loudly in his chest.

“Sougo, you know he isn’t dressed for class yet, right? It is the weekend, but he has a class at ten, so you don’t have to actually drag him out of bed today.”

“S-Sorry. Maybe I do need some more rest.”

“Eat breakfast with everyone first and then do what you need to do. And Tamaki, get dressed quickly or your pancakes will get cold.”

Motivated by the chance to eat Mitsuki’s delicious pancakes, Tamaki groggily peeled himself off his partner to make his way towards his closet to get dressed while mumbling that he would join everyone in a minute. Everyone else was already sitting down, so Sougo followed suit and tried to distract himself with the various conversations all taking place at the same time. It wasn’t enough to completely take his mind off things, but it had a way of making him feel a little better. Not that it would be enough to convince Mitsuki that cleaning and gardening is a form of relaxation.

Expectedly, it wasn’t a surprise to see that Tamaki made it his mission to make sure he goes back to sleep after breakfast before heading out himself. Mitsuki wasn’t one to tell the others about his observations, but Tamaki is fairly perceptive as well so it didn’t take long for him to notice and agree.

“You can work off breakfast later. Souchan, you need to sleep.”

“You two are over-exaggerating. And you haven’t gotten a day off either.”

Childishly, Tamaki stood by the door to make sure he didn’t leave and stared at him until he crawled back under the covers. “Sleep.”

“I’m not a child, Tamaki-kun.”

“Neither am I.”

At that comment, they both broke out into a smile before Sougo gave in and closed his eyes to sleep.

“Good night, Souchan.”

_**I’ll see you soon, Tamaki-kun.** _


	2. Ripples on the Lake

If Tamaki wasn’t currently in a packed train, he would’ve screamed a little in embarrassment while trying to hide his face.

There are a number of things that could properly describe Souchan, but cute was not one of them. Strict? Sure. Scary? Definitely. Someone who tries too hard? A million times yes. But cute? Ousama Purin is cute. Kinako is cute. Rikkun is cute. Iorin is cute.

Souchan is not cute.

The memory of his smile flickered into his mind causing his face to flush bright red.  _ Arghhh. That’s dirty, Souchan. You can’t catch me off-guard by acting like that! _

Despite how badly he wanted to stay home with Souchan, he knew that he needed to have his painting done by Monday, so he had no choice but to head to the atelier to finish it before he gets drowned in work again. MEZZO” being popular is nice and all, but sometimes he wished that they could have more time to themselves. Having to attend university classes certainly didn’t help either.

He sighed as he stepped through the doors and made his way towards the art building on the west side of campus. Few people roamed the common area on Saturdays and he normally wouldn’t either, but being an idol doesn’t excuse you from missing too many assignments. Since he had a bit of free time from work, he needed to make the most of it and complete his themed assignment.

“Good morning, Tamaki-kun! Are you here to finish up your piece too?”

His classmate, Ion, cheerfully waved at him upon his arrival as she set down her tools next to her painting.

“Yeah. ‘m almost done though. I shouldn’t have to spend the whole day on it.”

He carefully removed the sheet he had over his canvas to reveal what seemed to be the night sky entirely made out of water color. Beneath all the paint, a discerning eye could make out the slight leveling where the masking fluid was left to create a sort of silhouette effect over the couple standing on top of the water. In the eyes of his classmates, it was absolutely breathtaking regardless of the fact that it was unfinished.

“Are you going to submit it for this year’s art competition? The professor keeps asking me to convince you, but you’re always too busy.”

“Nn. Sorry. Not this time.”

In response to his decision, Ion hummed a bit and dropped the subject while Tamaki returned to his work as he tried to recall how he wanted it to look. He couldn’t add any more white in the night sky since he did a wash last time, so he decided to make another silhouette using masking fluid before creating a ripple effect on the lake he planned to paint using tissue paper and water. Maybe he could do a wet on wet effect and use some of the purples from the night sky on the water as well to make it look like a reflection as well.  _ I guess I won’t know if it’s good enough until I try it. _

He spent the next couple of hours trying to perfect his work until he finally created something that was close enough to what he had in mind. Shortly after that, he heard a familiar voice call out to him.

_**“Tamaki-kun, I came to pick you up.”** _

Surprised by the sound of a voice he wasn’t expecting to hear, Tamaki turned to find Sougo walking up to him even though he wasn’t expecting to be picked up today. He still had about three hours before he needed to be home to get ready for the party, so he couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed that Souchan wasn’t resting more. It wasn’t unusual for Sougo to do something like this since he’s not the type to relax for long periods of time, but it didn’t make Tamaki feel any better to see him consciously overworking himself.

“I thought you said you’d rest for today. Did you start cleaning after I left again?”

_**“I’m not used to resting for long periods of time anyway, but I trust that you’ll help me if anything were to happen.”** _

Some things never change.

“I asked you to rest because I don’t want you to collapse again.”

His voice was firm yet tinged with honest concern for his well-being.

_**“Well then, since you’re done for the day anyway, why don’t we hang out for a while before heading back to the dorm? I’ll be able to relax more if I move around for a bit.”** _

It was a fair enough argument, but Tamaki still wasn’t satisfied with that response.

“How did you even know I was done? I didn’t say when I’d be back. I just said I’d be back before the party.”

_**“I woke up a little while ago and got a text from Banri-san asking me to pick you up later. Apparently, Riku-kun and Iori-kun’s show is going to be running a little late today and Tsumugi-san still needs to pick up Mitsuki-san, Yamato-san, and Nagi-kun. I texted you earlier, but you didn’t respond.”** _

To verify the validity of his words, Tamaki stared at him for a moment as he fished out his phone to find out that he did text him ten minutes ago while he was still working on the finishing touches of his painting. He wasn’t sure why, but something about his partner seemed off to him even though he looked and acted the same for the most part. It wasn’t unusual for him to try to lessen the burden on the people who take care of them like Manager and Ban-chan either, so there wasn’t any real reason for him to be suspicious. If anything, it just seemed like he genuinely wanted to do something that didn’t involve sleeping all day. Well, if there was anything weird to comment about, it’d have to be the fact that he asked him to hang out instead of the other way around. Could just be that he had a good nap though. Who knows?

“Okay. Can we get sweets then?”

_**“Of course. It’s rare for us to have some time off, so we should make the most of it.”** _

Unaware of the true nature of the man standing before him, Tamaki let out an excited cheer as he happily accompanied his partner to the new cafe a few blocks away from the university. And upon finding out that the cafe has monster sized King Pudding parfaits as well as some spicy desserts for Sougo, he immediately bumped this to second on his mental list of best places to buy desserts. First place going to Fonte Chocolat of course.

Sougo chuckled quietly to himself as he watched him while hiding his face behind the menu he was holding.

“Did you think of something good?”

Tamaki glanced over at him out of curiosity while Sougo simply dodged the question with a neutral smile.  _**“I just think it’s nice that’s all. You always seem so happy when you get to eat sweets.”** _

“Why wouldn’t I be? Sweets are good. You’re really missing out just living on spicy food and coffee.”

_**“Just watching you eat is good enough for me.”** _

Sougo’s eyes didn’t seem to give anything away, so Tamaki just shrugged before continuing to partake in the monster sized King Pudding parfait he ordered. It was a difficult feat, but he hoped that his partner couldn’t see the faint blush on his face.

Of course, little did he notice Sougo’s attempt at hiding his lips that were starting to curl into a small smile.


	3. Time Lapse

When Sougo finally woke up from his long slumber, he found himself feeling slightly disoriented yet pleased at the same time. He had a nice dream about going out on a date with Tamaki at the cafe near his campus before returning to the dorm to relax at home for a while. Seeing that he had an hour before they needed to be at the party, he quickly got dressed and prepared to leave when suddenly, he noticed something strange about the notifications he had on his phone. More specifically, a message he received from Banri about his request for him to pick up Tamaki at the university. He checked his messages to see when it was sent and found a message he didn’t remember sending about him agreeing to do so as well as another one notifying Tamaki that he would be there to pick him up in ten minutes.

_ Strange. Was I really asleep this whole time? That dream did feel awfully real. _

_ Maybe I’m out of it from sleeping for so long. _

Suddenly, in the midst of his daze, Sougo heard the sound of Tamaki knocking on the door to inform him that Banri had arrived to pick them up. Not wanting to waste more time thinking about it, he simply deleted the notifications and opened the door to find Tamaki waiting on the other side in the suit they picked out on their last day off. To be honest, he couldn’t help but find himself entranced for a moment by how handsome he was in it to the point that he had to be dragged back to reality by the sound of his partner’s voice.

“Were you distracted by something again? I was knocking for a while, y’know?”

Sougo wasn’t sure if he could call that strange lapse in his memory a “preoccupation”, but he didn’t want to worry his partner so he simply agreed with his assumption. “Sorry, Tamaki-kun. There was just something I was curious about, but it doesn’t seem to be anything important. Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

“If you say so.”

It was only for a brief moment, but Sougo could see a flicker of doubt in Tamaki’s eyes before it switched back to normal. Unable to fool his companion with his flimsy attempt at reassuring him, he simply smiled like he usually did and ushered him out the door in hopes that Banri would start up a conversation that would distract him from his recent behavior. He knew he shouldn’t be tiptoeing around him after they promised to be more honest with each other, yet he couldn’t help but instinctively try to cover up the truth for his own comfort. Although it was just a little lie, he knew for a fact that over time it would only pile up bit by bit until he can no longer look away.

_ How can he possibly believe in me if I can’t bring myself to be honest with him. He’s always looking out for me in his own clumsy way, and yet here I am, always taking the easy way out. _

_**You’re not wrong, you know? Don’t you remember? How betrayed he felt when you tried to help him all on your own? And how hurt he was when you tried to do something that would hurt you the most just because you thought it’d be for the best for both of you?** _

_ Then what am I supposed to do? _

_ I don’t want our relationship to change. _

_**It’s okay to be afraid. That’s why I’m here, remember? You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. All you need to do...is believe in me.** _

_**Believe in yourself, for I am the embodiment of your inner desires.** _

_**Take my hand and I will prove it to you.** _

_**When you need courage the most, I promise that I will do whatever it takes.** _

As the car drew closer to their destination, he could feel Tamaki’s hand brush against his own before giving it a light squeeze. It was hard to tell what his intentions were since he still seemed to be focused on what Banri was saying, but nevertheless, he felt his heart grow calm.

_ I owe you so much, Tamaki-kun. The least I could do is meet you halfway. _

With that in mind, he willed himself to take the hand of the reflection and slowly pull them closer to him.

_ Please make Tamaki-kun happy. _

_**You have my word.** _


	4. A Quiet Desire

Upon reaching the place where the party would be hosted, Banri reminded them to call him once they were ready to leave before showering them with praise for all their hard work. Sougo seemed to be acting as he normally would, thanking their manager for his kind words and promising that they would be on their best behavior, so Tamaki didn’t think much of it. To be honest, he was more concerned about why he went as far as to hold his hand like that. What was wrong with him? Souchan isn’t even the type to like that sort of physical contact! He didn’t seem bothered at the time but it still feels different compared to how he feels when he hugs everyone else. So why did he think it was a good idea to do that?

“Tamaki-kun, don’t forget to be polite to the other guests at the party. There are a number of big industry names attending, so you need to be on your best behavior.”

_ Yeah. That’s how Souchan really is. He’s picky about the rules, and he always tries to solve things with his screwdriver but… _

“Same goes for you, Souchan. Don’t accept every drink you get. It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to keep accepting drinks for me.”

“But I know you hate alcohol especially after what happened with your father. I know it’s a matter of courtesy but I don’t want you to feel obligated to do something that brings back bad memories.”

_...at the same time, he always tries to be nice to me in his own Souchan way. _

_ But somehow, that kindness just pisses me off. It’s like he still doesn’t trust me. _

He sighed. They’ve gotten into this argument several times in the past, yet he never seemed to budge on his decision. At this point, it was just easier to limit his drinking while he’s drunk instead of trying to convince him while he’s sober. It’s not like he enjoys arguing with him after all.

But unfortunately, as he expected, Sougo had already gone through six drinks midway through the party. They were offered three drinks each, but he quickly made sure to take every single glass away before Tamaki could turn the offer down. People knew that Tamaki had reached drinking age months ago, yet Sougo refused to back down as he continued to come up with more and more excuses to keep his partner from doing something he didn’t want to do. And as usual, Tamaki was left to drag him away from the crowd before he does something he’ll really regret.

“Taa-kunnnn! I don’t wanna go yet!”

“I still need to text Ban-chan anyway. And you said you needed to use the bathroom didn’t you?”

“Ughhhhh… Taa-kunnnnnn…”

“Alright. Alright. Come on, Souchan. I’ll be right outside. If you spend too much time in there, I’ll go in and check up on you so don’t lock the door.”

“Okayyyyyy.”

Once he was sure that his companion could at least make it inside, Tamaki carefully closed the door before leaning against it while sighing again.  _ If something sounds off, I’ll go in and check on him. He’s not taking a bath or something so he should be okay I hope. I just hope he doesn’t fall in there. _

After sending Banri a quick text to come pick them up, Tamaki spent the next few minutes listening to the sound of Sougo groaning and stumbling around before everything went completely silent. He considered going in and checking up on him to make sure he didn’t collapse on the floor until suddenly he heard him mumble something he couldn’t quite catch. Unsure of what to make of it, he gave his partner another minute before placing his hand over the knob and—  


_**“Taa-kun...what are you doing?”** _

Upon opening the door, Tamaki found Sougo sluggishly leaning against the frame while smiling blissfully without a care in the world.

“Uh...are you okay now?”

_**“Sleepyyyy...Taa-kun, carry meeee.”** _

He raised his arms towards him like a child while Tamaki reluctantly lifted him up and placed him on his back. Sougo seemed to enjoy the feeling as he happily buried his face into his shoulder causing his partner’s face to grow warm.

“You need to go outside. Ban-chan will be here soon so don’t fall asleep yet.”

_**“Okayyyyyyy…”** _

Tamaki made sure to carefully make his way out the back door of the mansion to avoid running into any of the equally drunk party goers roaming about. It was likely that most of them wouldn’t remember much anyway, but he knew that Sougo would never live it down if someone caught him acting like this in public. Even more than that, Tamaki himself would’ve felt uncomfortable relying on someone else to help take care of his partner. He wasn’t sure why that was, but he had a feeling that it had to do with the way Sougo’s breath tickled his neck.

_ Nope! Nuh-uh. This is not happening right now! _

He shook his head slightly, making sure not to accidentally lose his grip on the other man, before continuing to make his way out of the mansion. Fortunately for them, most of the guests seemed to be preoccupied in the ballroom, so it was easy for them to sneak out without someone coming up to bother them. And as soon as they were finally outside, Tamaki quickly made his way around the mansion towards the garden in front before immediately fishing out his cellphone to check for any messages from their manager.

[I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Please wait somewhere until then.]

_**“Taa-kunnnn, m’coldddddd.”** _

“Alright. Alright. We’ll take a break here then.”

After carefully prying Sougo off his back, Tamaki placed his partner on the ground in front of one of the bushes before draping his jacket over his shoulders and taking a seat next to him. The other man giggled happily at this gesture as he made himself comfortable on Tamaki’s lap instead while curling up in the jacket that was adorably big on him. It took all of the younger man’s willpower not to spontaneously catch on fire on the spot. Metaphorically of course.

_ Souchannnn, you need to stop acting so cute! Ban-chan, please get here soon I can’t handle much more! _

“Try not to fall asleep, Souchan. Ban-chan isn’t that far away.”

_**“But Taa-kun I’m comfyyyyy. Taa-kun is really warm.”** _

In an attempt to maintain his composure, Tamaki tried to distract himself by staring at the artistically sheared hedges, but it was clear that his body had other plans as one arm moved to wrap around the frustratingly cute drunkard on his lap.

_**“Please stay here with me.”** _

“I won’t leave you here. Don’t worry. We’ll be going home soon.”

Sougo was silent after that which was a clear indication that he had probably fallen asleep despite the fact that their ride was going to arrive soon. Even though he did hope that the other man would stay awake long enough to get in the car, he also wasn’t surprised by the inevitability of it all. However, there was one thing that was bugging him and he wasn’t entirely sure why.

_ What did he mean by that? _

“Stupid Souchan… You need to tell me or I won’t know what to do.”

_ I guess...all I can do is keep watching over him. Even if it takes him forever, I won’t leave him alone until he finally decides to talk. _


	5. Clouded Vision

_**It’s not fair.** _

_**Why is it that he gets to be happy while I am left forgotten unless he needs me for something?** _

_**I was the one who took your place in the birdcage your father put you in. I did that because I thought we were friends!** _

_**But you forgot about me. Even though you were the one who took me in and let me live inside you all those years ago.** _

_**I won’t allow it.** _

_**I won’t let you take away the one person I’ve been waiting for all this time.** _

_**The person you love most, and the one who took my hand when you forgot about me.** _

_**I won’t let you have him.** _

* * *

_ This memory. I don’t recognize it. Who is that? _

From within his muddled thoughts, Sougo watched an unfamiliar face speak to his father about something he couldn’t hear before suddenly being dropped into another memory he couldn’t recall.

In each and every memory, he was forced to watch this stranger with blurred features suffer through the same things he remembered going through growing up. The lessons, the lectures, the scolding, the disappointment, the pain… All the things that should’ve been part of his own childhood, but for some reason, were clouded over.

However, it was the last memory that puzzled him the most.

_ Tamaki-kun? _

He knew for a fact that they never met prior to the IDOLiSH7 audition, so it was strange that he would have the memory of meeting him as a child. He was rough around the edges and didn’t seem like someone he’d be allowed to associate with normally, yet here he was playing with that same mysterious person from all the other flashbacks.  _ I don’t understand. Who is the other person? And why can’t I remember them? _

His head began to throb painfully as he was soon dragged back to reality by his desperate need for pain medication.

“Ugh...My head…What happened last night?”

Sougo briefly looked around the room to find a small bottle with hangover medicine and water on top of the dresser and Tamaki fast asleep on the edge of the bed.

His first instinct was to panic, immediately assuming the worst had happened, before finally calming down enough to gently shake the other man awake. There wasn’t anything scheduled for them to do until the evening again but it must be uncomfortable for him to sleep like that.

“Tamaki-kun...You shouldn’t keep sleeping like that. You’re going to strain your back.”

“Mm…”

_ Did he take care of me all night? _

Feeling a little guilty, Sougo quietly scooped up the taller man and tucked him into his own bed before grabbing the medicine and the water and heading to the bathroom.  _ I feel awful...How much did I drink last night? _

Unable to get past the pain and the slight dizziness, Sougo pushed his thoughts aside as he washed his face real quick and then drank the medicine Tamaki left for him. It took a few minutes for it to finally kick in, but the relief it brought made him feel so much better. Of course, it would be a little while longer before he would be able to think clearly enough to try sifting through his memories again.

As he walked out of the bathroom and into the living room, he noticed that the dorm was fairly empty aside from Iori in the kitchen brewing tea.

“Good morning, Osaka-san. Would you like some tea? Nii-san also made breakfast if you’d like it heated up.”

“That’d be nice. Thank you, Iori-kun.”

Iori nodded before turning to grab Sougo’s mug while Sougo grabbed the plate of food that was left in the fridge and began to reheat it. And as soon as the microwave indicated that the food was done, he could hear Tamaki stumbling awkwardly into the room as he complained about not being woken up for breakfast.

“Sorry, Tamaki-kun. You looked tired so I thought it’d be okay since we don’t have work until this evening.”

“Mm...Ban-chan asked me to tell you that our job today got postponed due to a scheduling conflict with the host. He just said to meet with him at two o’ clock to talk about future plans or something.”

Worried, Sougo took a quick look at the clock and noticed that they only had about thirty minutes before the time they needed to be at the office. It wasn’t like it was far or anything, but Sougo was very strict about punctuality, so he wanted to make sure that they weren’t even a minute late.

“Eat quickly, Tamaki-kun. It would be improper for us to show up late to a meeting with our manager.”

Sougo took a seat across from his partner and did the same. It was careless of him to let himself end up in such an unkempt state when he had work the next day. He didn’t want Tamaki to force himself to drink since he knew he hated alcohol, but at the same time, he should’ve been more careful about his own drinking. Inebriation is truly a fearsome thing.

In no time at all, the two of them quickly cleared their plates and mugs and took another ten minutes to make sure they were presentable before rushing to the meeting despite having plenty of time to do so. Banri seemed pleased that they arrived in such a prompt manner, but he also found it somewhat amusing since he had a feeling that Sougo might not be fully recovered yet. If he learned anything about his own experience with drinking excessively, it’s that you usually don’t want to do anything for the next hour while you deal with a severe hangover or a bitter tasting medicine.

“Sougo-kun, Tamaki-kun. I’m glad you could make it. The president stepped out for some business, but I could make you some tea if you’d like.”

“I want Ousama Purin!”

“Tamaki-kun, you still have plenty more at home. Thank you for the offer, but I don’t want anything right now.”

Banri nodded as he poured a cup for himself and handed Tamaki the pudding he had on hand before taking a seat in front of them. “I suppose we’ll start then. Due to a scheduling conflict with the host, your interview has been postponed for the time being and they will inform us when a new date has been decided. As for your other jobs, you both have an offer to do a headphone commercial as well as a few modeling gigs. You have a few days off after that.”

Once he was finished giving a general rundown of their plans for the next few weeks, Banri went on to explain the specifics of each job while also mentioning how much free time they had between each one. As usual, their schedule was fairly packed leaving not a lot of time for rest, but the free days they had at the end seemed promising.

“Do you have any questions?”

The two of them shook their heads. Having a packed schedule was something they were used to, so nothing really came to mind aside from questions concerning accommodations for the assignments Tamaki would be missing. The younger man was clearly not too pleased by the idea of having to study during his breaks, but other than that, he had no problems with this arrangement.

_ It’ll be just like always,  _ he thought _.  _ Or at least, that is what he had hoped for. Unfortunately for him, life had other plans.


	6. Overlapping Images

“Osaka-san, you look kind of awkward sitting that far away. I’m going to need you to get a little closer and turn your head towards me while looking at the camera.”

Unsure of what to say to that, Sougo simply gave a brief word of confirmation before nervously taking his place beside his partner and looking up at him.

_ You need to focus, Sougo! Tamaki-kun is just your unit partner. Don’t think about anything else! Especially not how toned his abs look! _

“Um...Osaka-san, I need you to be looking this way. And you can relax too. You seem really tense.”

Embarrassed, Sougo immediately apologized for the trouble he caused while Tamaki tried to resist the urge to crack a smile. They continued to try to get the perfect shot, but in the end, they went through so many retakes that they eventually decided to take a break. It was a blessing that the staff were kind enough to let him off the hook without lecturing him, but honestly, he didn’t think he deserved it.

“Souchan, I’m gonna buy a soda. You want anything?”

“I’m alright. Thank you, Tamaki-kun.”

Sighing, Sougo took a seat in front of the mirror in MEZZO’s shared dressing room and took a good look at himself.  _ Our relationship has improved significantly over these past few years, but has it really gotten to the point that it’s become something I can’t handle? _

**_If you’re that worried, then why don’t I give you a little confidence boost?_ **

_ What do you mean? _

_**Just trust me.** _

[ **_I’m you after all._ ** ]

_ That line...I’ve heard it before...You’re... _

From within the depths of his mind, he watched as the owner of the voice extended his hand out to him from behind the glass. He should’ve found it strange, but for some reason, he just felt at ease.

He reached out towards the mirror in a daze and pressed his fingers towards the glass until his fingers were intertwined with that of his own reflection. And with a gentle tug, they easily slipped out from the glass and stood in front of him with a physical form giving a small smile.  _ The same one they always gave him before they granted his wish. _

His mind had become hazy as the other person placed their hand over his eyes and closed them.

_**“You don’t have to force yourself to remember. I’m here now, so leave everything to me.”** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In short, this is the “Sougo is kinda horny” chapter but not really LOL


	7. A Brief Moment of Blissful Ignorance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before going into this, just a brief note that Tamaki’s nickname for the doppelganger hidden inside of Sougo is “Dokkun” which is also referring to the sound effect of a heartbeat.

_Something about this feels wrong and I don’t know why._

Tamaki took a moment to stare at his partner who left the room acting a lot more upbeat than before. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, he seemed to have an easier time following instructions this time. Yet for some reason, he couldn’t shake this strange feeling that this person isn’t Souchan.

_No. It can’t be. Of course it’s Souchan. Who else can it be?_

From within the depths of his mind, he could recall a familiar face that gave off the same feeling as the Sougo(?) standing before him, but there was simply no way that they could possibly be the same person.

After all, he had never seen them again since that time.

_Dokkun...You didn’t do something, did you?_

He looked over at his partner again while the other kindly expressed his concern towards his well-being. **_“Are you alright, Tamaki-kun? You’ve been acting strange since we left.”_ **

_I should be asking you that!_

“‘’m fine.”

**_“I’m glad. And I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused. I know I’m always chastising you for misbehaving, so I guess it’s my turn now.”_ **

_He’s been weird ever since the day he came to meet me at the university. I wasn’t sure of it then, but now I’m sure…_

He hesitantly reached out and ruffled “Sougo’s” hair with his hat a bit. _I don’t know if I wanna know the truth. I’m scared but…_

He glanced over at the other man to see him meticulously looking over the schedule as usual. In his eyes, he could see the little spark of happiness from getting treated so kindly. _This person...I don’t think they’re dangerous…_

_I’m sorry, Souchan, but I need to know._

“Hey, Souchan. When we get home, can I talk to you?”

**_“You can talk to me now. Is something wrong?”_ **

“No. I just wanna talk.”

He wasn’t sure how he intended to go about it, but he knew he had to do _something_. If his suspicions were true, then he needed to figure out where Sougo is and fast. There was no way of knowing what this person’s intentions are, so he couldn’t help but feel a little bit uneasy about how it will all turn out.

_**“Alright. But first, there’s something I want to do before we head back.”** _

“Wha-?”

Out of nowhere, Sougo(?) took his hand and dragged him out of the subway car and towards the movie theater without any explanation whatsoever.

**_“Two tickets for Magical Kokona Against the World.”_ **

“Souchan, what are you-?”

_**“Just for a little while.”** _

“Eh?”

**_“I’m sorry, Tamaki-kun. But just this once, please let me be a little selfish.”_ **

_Saying that with Souchan’s face is so unfair. How can I say no to that when he usually doesn’t even allow the thought to cross his mind? I…_

He nodded quietly—unable to find it in him to drag Sougo(?) home and confront him properly.

_**Thank you.** _

Within the darkness of the auditorium, Sougo(?) laced his fingers with Tamaki’s own as he leaned against his shoulder and kept his eyes focused on the movie. The movie was entertaining despite it not being a genre either of them usually watched, but it was hard to ignore the warmth of the person with his crush’s face. _Now that I think about it, when did I start to realize it? The fact that I like Souchan._

_I can’t leave it like this. I need to be sure._

Tamaki opened his mouth with the intention of urging the other man to return to the dorms with him only to be silenced by that irresistible look on his face again.

Just a little while longer.

For a couple more hours, Tamaki allowed Sougo(?) to do as he pleased—going window shopping, eating street food, and listening to street musicians—before finally putting his foot down and insisting that they had to return. _I’m sorry, Souchan. Please wait for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie title has nothing to do with Scott Pilgrim despite the similar name. It was actually a very bad reference to the events in Tokyo Mew Mew’s short spinoff series where everyone turned against Berry LOL


	8. The String that Binds the Three of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the last chapter! I hope you enjoyed the ride~
> 
> Also a warning for choking that happens towards the end but it doesn’t last that long.

_ I know you, don’t I?  
_ __ We were always together back then.  
_ You were my best friend.  
_ __ And then, I-

_ [“Do you not have a place to go? If so, then do you want to stay with me?”] _

[ **_“I can’t. I’m not like you. I’m a monster.”_ ** ]

_ [“You’re not a monster. You’re my friend.”] _

[ **_“Hey, I can help, you know? We’re friends after all!”_ ** ]

_ [“Please! Just do this for me one more time! I promise I won’t ask you to do it anymore!”] _

[ **_“I’m tired of this! I don’t want to do this anymore! I don’t want to be you!”_ ** ]

_ [“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!”] _

Suddenly, Sougo heard the sound of something shattering in the back of his mind as he awoke from his unplanned slumber.

_ Doppel…That was you, wasn't it? All this time you’ve been hiding within me, but how? _

The room he was in was pitch black and quiet, and he could tell that he was lying underneath what he assumed was a couch. In an attempt to get a better sense of his surroundings, Sougo reached out his hand and started to feel for any obstacles that would keep him from getting out. Once he was certain that he was in the clear, he slowly made his way out before stumbling around to find the light switch.

_ The dressing room? Why am I still here? What time is it? _

Sougo looked up at the clock and was shocked by how much time had passed. He wasn’t entirely sure how, but he was apparently asleep for four hours. To make things worse, Sougo only had thirty minutes before the building is locked up for the night.

Panicked, he immediately bolted out of the room and tried to sneak out the back way to avoid explaining why he was still there. There was the problem of avoiding the security guards wandering near the doors as well, so he lied and told them that he had received permission to pick up something he had forgotten in the dressing room. He wasn’t fond of lying, but he needed to find Tamaki and Doppel ASAP.

Sougo wasn’t sure if it was pure luck or sheer coincidence, but he was glad that the first place he decided to check was the correct one.

What he wasn’t happy about was the way Doppel had their arms wrapped possessively around his partner while wearing his face.

_**“I suppose you finally remembered me, didn’t you? It took you two long enough.”** _

“Get your hands off him…”

_**“As always, you continue to completely ignore how I feel. It’s your fault for taking this long. You don’t deserve him.”** _

“I said get your hands off him…!”

_**“You could’ve just relied on me as your friend. But all you did was treat me like a tool. He was the only one who saw me as myself!”** _

Sougo reached for his screwdriver and lunged at his former friend only for them to stop him in his tracks.

_**“I’m you, remember? From the moment I was born, my life relied on stealing the faces of others and killing them in order to become human.”** _

Afraid of what might happen, Tamaki tried to pry Sougo off of Doppel causing his rage to turn towards him.

“Tamaki-kun, don’t stop me! They said so themselves. They’re a thief who lies and kills the people who trust them.”

_**“But I couldn’t bear to hurt you. I loved you too much. So instead, I found another mirror* and hid myself for all these years.”** _

Using this moment as an opening, Doppel swiftly pushed Sougo onto the ground as they wrapped their hands around his neck tightly.

_**“To disappear or become human at the cost of someone’s life. It feels like a cruel joke.”** _

Sougo could feel Doppel’s tears stain his face as they tightened their grip on his neck. Tamaki, in turn, tried desperately to pull them off, but it was no use. He was too strong.

_**“I was lonely, Sougo. I can’t make relationships normally like you, but I still loved you two. All I wanted was for us to be happy. Together.”** _

Stunned by the weight of their words, Tamaki slowly moved his arms downward and pulled them into a hug that caused them to be startled enough to let go. Meanwhile, Sougo tried to steady his breath before forcing himself to sit up and properly talk to the “friend” he had used and forgotten about for all these years.

“Go back into the mirror. I won’t forgive you for what you’ve done, but at the same time, I owe you for helping me get this far.”

He held out his hand and urged them to take it. “I’m sorry. I can’t grant your wish, but at the very least, you can stay in here. You are me, after all.”

Doppel laughed a little at that. _**“Fine. But first, I think it’s about time you tell him the truth. I’ll even say it with you.”**_

Sougo’s face burned at the thought, but with Doppel by his side, he felt like he could be brave just this once.

“Tamaki-kun, I love you.”/ _**“Tamaki-kun, I love you.”** _

Tamaki smiled as he held them both in his arms. “You finally said it. I love you too, Souchan...Dokkun…”

_ Thank you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the “mirror” Doppel refers to is a reference to the quote, “The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them” by Paulo Coelho
> 
> A few other things being that Doppel was, in fact, meant to be a lot crueler and it is vaguely mentioned here that it’s their purpose to do so, but that would’ve also taken a lot more space than I actually had. If it wasn’t obvious, I’m very bad with word limits ^^; The painting in chapter 2 was also meant to be a depiction of the three of them together but I wasn’t able to keep that scene either. Someday I’ll rewrite this with the parts I couldn’t fit but for now I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it~


End file.
